Back to the salt mine

Back to work today. I actually woke up fairly easily this morning, despite getting less sleep than I would have liked. Huh. So let’s see. I did some research, compared and contrasted options, and concluded that going to school out-of-state would be really expensive. Going to school at Stanislaus State is a lot more feasible, but I’d still need an infusion of funding. Student loans are an option but they’d have to cover all costs of living as well as school. I’ll need to speak to an advisor over there.

My résumé is online in a couple of places. I’ve applied for 3 or 4 positions, including some in the greater Portland area. Still holding on to an against-all-odds hope that something will change here at the college. I’m expecting that my last check will be enough to pay off my car. Not having that monthly obligation while unemployed will be a relief. Even so, missing even a single week of unemployment will be devastating.

Haven’t run for several days now. Sunday was my regular day, but I wasn’t feeling great. Even ended up taking a multi-hour nap late in the day. Plus, my calves and feet hurt! Perhaps I overdid it a bit last Wednesday and the problem had persisted throughout the rest of the week and weekend. In any case, I feel quite recovered today. But I still took tonight off so as to get back on my regular schedule tomorrow.

Had soup for dinner. I sometimes forget how much I enjoy soup. Help me to remember people!


$1000 and 4 months down the drain

Well, here it is at the end of the term and time to reflect on my first semester as a junior. I really am a terrible student. I have no discipline and next to no motivation. My history class was interesting but I procrastinated way too long on the term paper and ran out of time. My research methods class was boring as can be, but easy. I should have been able to get an A in that class with very little effort. But apparently more effort than I was able to muster. I will be lucky if I pass that class. But a C appears possible.

Why am I such a failure at school? I am so lazy and as I said, undisciplined and unmotivated. I keep hoping that things will change but they never do. And neither do I.

I can see what needs to change. Why can’t I do it?

I suck.