Salem, day 1

I am now in Salem. This last weekend in Modesto was particularly difficult. I finished clearing out my apartment and loaded as much as possible into a trailer. The rest I threw away. The emptiness of the place was just really stark. I got a special gift from Real B. I wish we’d reconnected as adults under slightly different circumstances. I went to Jeff’s wedding and spent a few moments with some friends that I haven’t been close to in a while. It was lovely to see and talk to them, but it all just reminded me of what I have lost. I know that the coming weeks & months will be filled with new discoveries & new people, but I miss what I do not have.

So now I am in my aunt’s house, surrounded by things that aren’t mine. I went to set up my computer this evening only to discover that it seems to have been damaged during transport. So I do not even have that means by which I can keep connected to things that are familiar. I feel alone and sad and disconnected. I want to be in my own place and to be working again.

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