Inconsequentials & Trivialities

Pretty good weekend. I had to jet up to Portland on Friday afternoon to see an Oscar nominated movie, No, at the Portland International Film Festival. A derby girl friend asked if I could transport her daughter to Pioneer Square to catch a TriMet train. I contrived to get off work 30 minutes early as I felt that I needed extra time to allow for traffic, but between the extra stops for my passenger and an accident on the road, I ended up being a few minutes late for the movie; they had already resold my seat. Nevertheless, I saw all but the first few minutes of my movie. It was good.

Returning to Salem, I drove straight to a bowling alley to meet up with some derby peeps. There were seven of them there when I arrived and they were mostly through their first game. It was good to socialize with these folks, but I found that bowling alley very off-putting. It was quite expensive and the employees were rather snotty. I will not go there again. I give AMF Firebird Lanes a thumbs-down.

Saturday I attended a roller derby boot camp put on by the CCDG travel team, 8 Wheel Assassins. It was a beginner group, but I was far and away the only true beginner there. Also the only guy. 🙂 The other students were much steadier on their wheels than me, and I’m sure got a lot more out of the session. I do think I learned some things, and I look forward to practicing those skills and getting better. I’m signed up for the next two sessions (in March and April) but I am embarrassed and frustrated at my lack of coordination and feel guilty that so much individual attention needed to be given to me. Not that the other students were short-changed, but I am super uncomfortable being the center of attention and even more so when it’s while doing something I’m not good at. Really, I’m just embarrassed.

After boot camp, I met with the other folks from the production team for The Forum on KMUZ. I’d call it a fruitful meeting.

Saturday evening was a bout and it was the first time I wasn’t an NSO for a bout at the Mad House since I started with derby. I did have a job; I was assisting Hitman with the event coordinator duties. One sour note, a friend had asked for a ticket on Thursday and I’d purchased one for her. She’d made the request for the ticket on facebook and within 10 minutes I confirmed that I would acquire one for her. I said that I’d leave it at will-call unless she wanted to make other arrangements. Anyway, during halftime on Saturday night, I go and check to see if she’s picked up her ticket. She had not. Turns out that after asking me for a ticket, she didn’t check back to see if I’d done as she requested and just went ahead and bought one for herself. WTF?? It’s not that I mind spending the money, but I went out of my way for her and in return I get treated like something she needs to scrape of the sole of her shoe. Plus, it means that someone who wanted to attend the bout didn’t get to because the event was sold out. Not cool.

Post-bout, I went to the afterparty, which was pretty anemic. Oh well, I got to chat with a few of the Kittens.

Sunday I got up early in the morning to attend the 8:30 Mass. I was scheduled to sing at 11 AM, and going to the earlier Mass allowed me to learn the songs. 🙂 I got home from church by 1:00 and after a little TV, took a nap. That was nice. That evening, back to Portland for another Oscar nominee, Kon-Tiki. This time I was plenty early and got a good seat. Had a nice chat with fellow attendees too, including one woman who shared my disdain for Beasts of the Southern Wild. Kon-Tiki was an EXCELLENT movie! It’s my pick for Best Foreign Film. Didn’t get home until 11:00 that night.

Monday was a holiday and I took advantage of the day off by sleeping in a little. In the late morning I went shopping and bought a couple of shirts and pairs of pants. (I’m getting fat again. 🙁 ) I then saw the last of the foreign films for this years Academy Awards, Amour. The movie was good, and Emmanuelle Riva was great, but the best movie of the year it was not. I was feeling a little tired so I opted not to see a second film, Warm Bodies. I’ll shoot for next Saturday. I finished off my weekend with more tv. (I’ve really been falling behind.)

First in an occasional series of things I think about during lunch.

Today’s lunch involved a walk over to Safeway to buy some vitamins and a sandwich. The sandwich was good enough, but it took just about forever to get through the line to order it. I probably won’t be heading to Safeway for lunch too often.

Anyway, during the stroll I thought about the virtues of friendship and loyalty. I can hardly claim to be a completely virtuous man; I have SO many faults. But I have always felt that I do a very good job in the loyalty department. And not too long ago, I had someone else tell me that this was the trait she thinks of when she thinks of me. I guess I take this quality for granted and am shocked and surprised when it is missing in others. The perplexing question for me is why do I sometimes choose to befriend people who do not seem to value or manifest loyalty. When I am hurt by the actions or inactions of my friends, I tend to accept that I bear the responsibility for how I feel. I did choose these people after all. Oh sure, the first instance may come out of the blue, but as the old Russian saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

So here’s the question, why do keep placing myself in the position to be so disappointed by some people. Is the lack of loyalty an example of being good to each other? I think not.

So, last disclaimer(s). I’m not really looking for anyone to answer/respond. I’m sure we are all searching for meaning in this life and this is just me giving voice to something with which I am wrestling. Also, I have many, many areas in which I am deficient. We could talk about any number of those and I wouldn’t be on such a high horse about them. Today, I was thinking about loyalty, an area in which I tend to score highly. Tomorrow may well be about perseverance or discipline or motivation, all areas in which I suck tremendously. I’m not making myself out to be some sort of noble higher being. Finally, I am not, by any means, painting everyone I know with the same brush. I have many, many people in my life who are tremendously loyal. There are just a few who have really fallen short. And I’m sure I fall short in some areas for them.