I just want everything. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve become unhappy at my parish. Mostly, I guess I feel unappreciated. But also, there just doesn’t feel like there is much of a community there; at least not like a community I hope for. There were two things that happened earlier this year that pushed me over the edge.
First, the absence of vision when it comes to music ministry became unmistakably apparent. Rather than schedule any of the current musicians, those with long, demonstrable connection to the parish for Masses during Lent and Easter, the powers that be asked a group from a neighboring parish to come in and do their own thing, completely divorced from what the assembly is used to.
Second, the Knights wanted to do something nice for the parish. At the beginning of June, we put on a free spaghetti dinner for anyone who wanted to come. We took sign-ups for two weeks prior to the event so that we’d know how much food to purchase and prepare. We had over 200 people indicate they were coming. Less than 100 showed up. I like to think of myself as a resilient person; not flexible really, but enduring. This ‘community’ response may have broken me. Yes, yes, we learned a lesson. People don’t value that which is free. Several months later, the parish put on a dinner that cost $25/person. 250 people attended.
So I feel like I’ve pretty much given up on the parish. There’s only so much knocking my head against the wall that I can take.
But deep down at the heart of it all, it’s the music that I most care about.
I realize that I can be a pretty particular sort of person. At least when I really care about something. I suppose that’s how one can tell if I truly care: how fussy I am about the thing.
Anyway, I’m looking for what might be a bit of a unicorn. I want to be a part of a parish that is warm & welcoming, has a music program that I can be a part of, preferably bilingual, is committed to forming/maintaining a community, with an active Knights council, where I can feel needed. Also, must be near to Ellen’s parents. We will want to find a permanent home within 15-20 minutes of their place in West Salem. As far as music itself, I still want this.
I’ve looked at Queen of Peace, St Joseph’s, & St Vincent de Paul in Salem; St Patrick’s in Independence; St Philip’s in Dallas; Immaculate Conception in Stayton; even St Mary’s in Albany. Some of these places come close, but none is quite right.
Finally, I must acknowledge that perhaps the most likely reading of this whole affair is that I am meant to learn humility. Gads! what a bitter pill.
