Frustration #153,282
Complain, complain, complain. Sometimes it feels like that’s all I ever do. But I am not a complainer that is unwilling to work to make things better. And I don’t complain (much) about things in the past that we can do nothing about now. Well, what I do try to point out is that we didn’t take the proper steps then, and if we continue to misstep, we will keep running into the same problems; something about failing to learn the lessons from history or some such thing. (Also something to do with doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.)
I am becoming more and more convinced that I need to redirect my efforts and get a degree in communication. I am equally convinced, and thus dismayed, that any attempt by me to impart knowledge and skills to others will be akin to screaming into a vacuum. Not the Hoover kind; the outer space kind. We all remember the tagline for Alien, right? I am currently advocating for improving the communication processes at my church, but far from being considered or heaven forbid, embraced, I’m getting pushback and explanations/excuses for why things are broken. The implication is that they will continue to be broken and that will be ok.
Someone told me yesterday that there is fear/concern that I will leave the Church. I have been attending a non-Catholic church here in town for a couple of months now. At this other church, I have been welcomed and empowered. I indicate a willingness to get involved and they are putting me right to work. Last night I was asked if I wanted in depth training about how to run some of the technical side of things for one of the services. Compare that to how things work at my church. The chances that someone will welcome you when you come around are better than they used to be. But it still amounts only to a hello at the door. If you are a fallen away Catholic, you get higher priority than if you are a weekly, anonymous attendee. If you tell someone that you’d like to get involved with… whatever, chances are very slim that that message will ever reach someone who can do anything about it, and that’s only if there is someone who could do something about it, which mostly there is not.
And another thing, here we are, well into Lent, and yesterday was the first homily (an explanation of the scriptures of the day and how they pertain to our lives) that we’ve had at St. Stans in over a month. Every Sunday for the past four weeks, what we’ve had instead is someone asking for money. People, this is not feeding us.
I have no intention of leaving the Church. But it’s looking more and more likely that I will end up being just another obligatory attendee at Mass. I’ll probably be getting my spiritual nourishment and fellowship at a place that works harder to provide such things. And here’s the thing, I doubt many people will care.
A little encouragement from a stranger:I'm praying for you. I've been there. I know how difficult it is. Focus on your relationship with God and don't worry about what other people think.PS – I love the title of your post. I think I have used 800 variations of it in the past week or so!
Thank you Rachel!